He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
