My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
honey bunches of taint.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
