How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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