just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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