i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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