Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
