This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
