this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
