WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
