dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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