So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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