dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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