she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
