Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
