Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
