I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
