Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
