id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
