Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
