My friends, they love my intelligence
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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