no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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