I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
