My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize