I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
