Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if only i could text you this smell
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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