I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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