And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't deserve a penis
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
