like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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