Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
