i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
