why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
