your parents love me but you hate me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
