i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
