The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So vagazzling was a success
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
