i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
