I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
