if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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