So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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