All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
