dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
