just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
