she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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