I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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