My liver just broke up with me...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
