I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
