I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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