ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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