why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
