dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize