Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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