marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
