Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize