He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
