Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
