Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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