would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
