This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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