I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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