No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
