Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
