I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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