I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
