im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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