I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
