the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize